Kia ora everyone,

My name is Ally Gordon and I live life with 5 invisible chronic illness. 

My story:
My journey began in 2012 when one day I all of a sudden woke up yellow, with a pounding headache and major brain fog. I was sent to hospital for 3 weeks and left with the diagnoses of Autoimmune Hepatitis and Autoimmune Haemolytic anaemia. This obviously had a major affect on my life as before this diagnosis I was a competitive swimmer for Waikato and New Zealand. My mental health dropped a little but it gave me more time to hang out with my friends and be social. 
In 2013 I noticed a change in my bowels. Constant diarrhoea, blood in my stools, weight loss and appetite loss. In 2013 I was 17, there was no way I was speaking up about this to anyone so I kept my mouth shut in hopes that it would go away... Long story short- It didn't.
For years I ignored these symptoms. I worked full time, lived my social life, studied and pretended like nothing was wrong. I lost weight drastically- so much so that I looked anorexic but no one said anything to me as they thought that this was a personal thing that I was going through. 
It wasn't till one day I walked into work crying because I felt so sick, so mentally and physically exhausted and sick of hiding this secret from my family, friends, doctors and professional specialists. 
My boss at the time took one look at me and sent me over to the AandE centre across the way from my work. I rang my mum and told her to meet me there, I was seen by a doctor and straight away she admitted me to the hospital. 
On my arrival to the hospital it didn't take long to get urgent medical attention. I had a feeding tube placed, saw a surgeon and was told that if I had come any later i would be dead within the next 2 weeks- a little scary for a 19 year old to hear, right?
I was told that I needed my colon removed, I had Ulcerative colitis and I needed to get a stoma for a year. A stoma? what is that? Those were my thoughts- I had a stoma nurse come and see me before my surgery to talk me through the process and how to live with it. I saw my mum burst into tears so it was at that moment that I felt I had to stay string for my family. Throughout that meeting I took it all in for sure but I had made the conscious decision that I was not leaving my room for a year because EW! Who poos in a bag, thats so ugly and gross. When my mum left, I burst into tears and called my best friend, Ali. She came and saw me straight away, assuring me that everything was going to be okay and that she would be there every step of the way, and she was. She is and was my angel throughout the whole process.

2 months later I was released from the hospital and adjusting to this new way of life. I will admit, it took me months to accept what had just happened and how life was going to be for the next year.

To be honest that year flew by and before I knew it it was time for my reversal surgery and for me to join the J-Pouch gang. Everything was meant to be fine after this right? WRONG! None of my symptoms went away, I was still going to the toilet 20+ times a day, not absorbing food, not absorbing my pills and still loosing weight. I had frequent appointments with my specialists and we couldn't figure out what was wrong. Multiple tests, scans, procedures and they weren't sure. It finally came to the conclusion that not do I only have Ulcerative colitis, but I also have Crohns disease- so whats that? 4 invisible illnesses at the age of 20? 

I lost all motivation to live life, to succeed, to get out of bed, my mental health declined drastically over the next 5 years and during all this time was getting intense liver pains so of course more scans, tests, procedures and I was told I have another disease called Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis- a disease in my liver that blocks the bile ducts. I was told that in the next 2-10 years I will need a liver transplant. Boom my mental health dropped below the lowest of low and here comes my first suicide attempt. I lost weight, didn't eat, didn't socialise, didn't get out of bed and before I knew it, I was back in hospital in 2021, weighing in at 45kgs with a feeding tube. It was COVID and I was allowed no visitors, once again my mental health dropped- I was discharged and a few weeks later came my second suicide attempt. It was at this stage that I knew things needed to change quickly. With the help of my now partner, Conor, I got therapy, Moved with him to the Mount, started the best job in my life with children and I couldn't be happier. I have since got my Stoma back because i realised that my life with a stoma is so much easier, I am healthier and happier.

I am in the best place I have been both mentally and physically and I want to start raising awareness for invisible and chronic illness. I have accepted my life and that I am a little different to others but I want to advocate for others beginning their journey and for those struggling to accept a new way of life.

This story is a major 'Long story short' situation as if i was to write everything I would be here for years and so would you reading it. If you have got this far- thank you for reading my story! I hope it has helped you in some way or it can inspire you to share your own story.

This will be a blog of my life and I will share updates and stories of my never ending journey and fight with a chronic illness.

So much Aroha (love) for you all,

Ally G xxx